beauty within
My name is Rachel Ann Cauilan and I just want to make a testament of my life growing up, from all the people, places, things, and feelings I’ve known, and to give a little piece of myself, and my love, to you. I hope you enjoy.

Find me on .
Because #Friends is still the only show that manages to make me laugh and teach me a little somethin’ about growing up. #Istillwatchiteveryday #friendstv #friendscast #20thanniversary #beyourownwindkeeper

Because #Friends is still the only show that manages to make me laugh and teach me a little somethin’ about growing up. #Istillwatchiteveryday #friendstv #friendscast #20thanniversary #beyourownwindkeeper

Most girls (at least in my high school) got their first cars at 16. I waited ‘til I was 21 to drink and get a car. Watch out on the road! #whoabuddy #newcar #toyota #concordtoyota #drivingrachel #nolongerpassenger #Ineedajob #Icantaffordthis #summer #dontdrinkanddrive

Most girls (at least in my high school) got their first cars at 16. I waited ‘til I was 21 to drink and get a car. Watch out on the road! #whoabuddy #newcar #toyota #concordtoyota #drivingrachel #nolongerpassenger #Ineedajob #Icantaffordthis #summer #dontdrinkanddrive

G (feat. Genevieve) premieres beautifully lush and serene video for “Outer Space”

For long-time fans of the late indie/alt-rock band Company Of Thieves' breathtaking, eerie and soul-searching lead vocalist Genevieve, she has recently paired up with electronic-music producer Jimmy Giannopoulos to form a new electronic music project called “G.” The video for their first song “Outer Space” is equally out-of-this-world, featuring soft kaleidoscope colors lightly coloring Genevieve herself.

The tune is smooth and icy, and then jazzy and propelling. It starts off slow as Genevieve’s airy yet ardent vocals come in, soon pulling you in as she croons over sounds reminiscent of jazz horns and constant echoes.

The video is beautifully shot, taking place at a carnival at night. The rather slow and steady jazz undertones of the song beautifully juxtapose the often loud and chaotic nature of a carnival. Featuring many close-ups and tight shots, we see Genevieve crooning in a ferris wheel, venturing off into the park against mismatched mirrors and getting lost in her own head as she inhabits the public space on her own.

Genevieve remarks that the song feels like “the serene isolation that can be felt in a crowded and often chaotic world.”

And the video matches this idea so perfectly. As she confidently strides about on her own throughout the carnival, observing the lights and crowds and rides, she constantly croons, “I live in outer space.”

The video is also almost reminiscent of Sofia Coppola’s Lost In Translation, as lead girl Charlotte (Scarlett Johansson) inhabits the chaotic Tokyo cities on her own, utterly isolated.

"Outer Space" is currently available on Innit Recordings. G’s debut EP is said to come out later this year. Hold onto your seats!

outer_space

Californication (Red Hot Chili Peppers Cover)

'Cause I heard this on the radio last night and thought, “What a good song to learn.”

Here go! I learned this song today, recorded it in one take, and posted it for you all. Let me know what you think. Thank you to these end-of-my-late summer days back home. It’s been wonderful.

Keep in touch. Remember what makes you feel alive. Always feel blessed.

I Feel Like I Saved Someone’s Life

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For the first time in my life, I feel like I did something good. And I don’t even know why.

This feeling almost makes me want to cry. It actually already has, in fact, for a slight moment, during my complete and whole awareness of the moment and allowance of myself to accept it.

Let’s just say that I was recently tasked with the responsibility of writing a letter. This letter would determine how a friend of mine would go on with their life.

Considering that I wrote the letter in one night while I was half-asleep, I was surprised to hear that my letter was all someone of authority needed to determine an outcome.

I feel that I did something good for the first time in my life. Ever. Honestly. And I was so perplexed as to why this feeling was consuming me. How new and unfamiliar this feeling was to me. “Why mine? What was so great about my letter?”

And then I realized that, when it comes to writing, it isn’t just about being experienced or knowing how to write well or any of that jazz.

It’s about knowing how to write what you feel. About being able to effectively express what you know. It’s about bringing the reader into an experience of feeling what you are feeling–of getting into your head for a moment–to know what you know and feel what you feel.

Of course the letter was every bit professional/personal as I could make it, and I was careful to include only what mattered in just a page. But, I realized something:

You can go on and on about experiences and accomplishments, but all anyone wants to know is who the person is besides who they are to everyone else.

And I learned that what you have to say can actually change someone’s life. Literally. And not in the sense that it inspires or motivates–but that it actively has an effect on how they are going to live out their life.

That’s a crazy feeling to wrap your head around. And that’s why I feel like I did something good for the first time in my life. Honestly. Because my words had that much of an effect on something… on someone’s life.

I feel like I saved someone’s life. That’s why I wanted to cry.

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sherlockspeare:

(X)

Landon: Hey. How are you feeling?
Jamie: I’m ok, how are you?
Landon: Pretty good.
Jamie: I have something for you.
Landon: You do?
Jamie: Uh hmm… Don’t worry it’s not a bible. It was my mother’s. It’s got quotes from all her favorite books, and quotes by famous people. Her thoughts. Come on.
Landon: Okay, let’s check it out. Okay…”What is a friend? It’s a single soul dwelling in two bodies.” -Aristotle.
Jamie: Uh uh, right here.
Landon: Okay. “Find out who you are, and do it on purpose.” That’s Dolly Parton.
Jamie: I always thought she was smart.
Landon: “Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful.” (…)
Jamie: You know what I figured out today?
Landon: What?
Jamie: Maybe God has a bigger plan for me than I had for myself. Like this journey never ends. Like you were sent to me because I’m sick. To help me through all this. You’re my angel.
"

A Walk to Remember

Because, if there is one scene in the world that can wholly capture my life, ideals, and the way I think and approach things… I think it would be this. I feel blessed to have had this movie create such an immense impact on my young life. #yesIdonotmindtheweeksofsadbuthappydays

👰🎩 Congratulations to this bride on her beautiful wedding that was every bit intimate, quirky yet perfect in every way. From changing the venue 4 times since last week and going through 6 photographers, it won’t even matter because your choice mattered in the end. It’s been wonderful going through this journey with you and I feel so blessed to be a part of your life. I only wish #JayTricia5Ever the best! #wedding #newthollow #outdoorwedding #picnicwedding #congratulations #2yearsofmarriage #awkwardweddingreader #Icantpublicspeak #Itolerateher #bikingrachel #pageantpatricia  (at Newt Hollow)

👰🎩 Congratulations to this bride on her beautiful wedding that was every bit intimate, quirky yet perfect in every way. From changing the venue 4 times since last week and going through 6 photographers, it won’t even matter because your choice mattered in the end. It’s been wonderful going through this journey with you and I feel so blessed to be a part of your life. I only wish #JayTricia5Ever the best! #wedding #newthollow #outdoorwedding #picnicwedding #congratulations #2yearsofmarriage #awkwardweddingreader #Icantpublicspeak #Itolerateher #bikingrachel #pageantpatricia (at Newt Hollow)

"Well, look who I ran into," crowed Coincidence.

"Please," flirted Fate, "this was meant to be."

We begin to find and become ourselves when we notice how we are already found, already truly, entirely, wildly, messily, marvelously who we were born to be. The only problem is that there is also so much other stuff, typically fixations with how people perceive us, how to get more of the things that we think will make us happy, and with keeping our weight down. So the real issue is how do we gently stop being who we aren’t? How do we relieve ourselves of the false fronts of people-pleasing and affectation, the obsessive need for power and security, the backpack of old pain, and the psychic Spanx that keeps us smaller and contained?

Here’s how I became myself: mess, failure, mistakes, disappointments, and extensive reading; limbo, indecision, setbacks, addiction, public embarrassment, and endless conversations with my best women friends; the loss of people without whom I could not live, the loss of pets that left me reeling, dizzying betrayals but much greater loyalty, and overall, choosing as my motto William Blake’s line that we are here to learn to endure the beams of love.

🙏 I have no words. It is very dear to my heart this message… :’) #thankyou #music #guitar #passion #love #kindness #likeoverflow #stranger

🙏 I have no words. It is very dear to my heart this message… :’) #thankyou #music #guitar #passion #love #kindness #likeoverflow #stranger

✨🌙🌗 #truth #barrelista #martinez #locals #stars #universe #mantra #poem #life #anon #customer #blackbook (at Barrelista)

✨🌙🌗 #truth #barrelista #martinez #locals #stars #universe #mantra #poem #life #anon #customer #blackbook (at Barrelista)

The leaves are a changin’ and so is my ‘do. I can’t tell you all how much I’ve missed my short hair. :’) #haircut #shorthair #longbob #bob #aline #leaveschanging #soami #returnofrealrachel

The leaves are a changin’ and so is my ‘do. I can’t tell you all how much I’ve missed my short hair. :’) #haircut #shorthair #longbob #bob #aline #leaveschanging #soami #returnofrealrachel

Nothing passes the time better than the musician’s ultimate playground! Too many of my summer days have been spent here. #1700dollarguitars #daretocompare #musiciansplayground #guitarcenter #guitar #acoustic #guitarist #girlguitarist #taylor #taylorguitar #fishman #loudbox #amp #amplifier #guitaramp #wickedlove #kateearl #love #guytar #summer #music

Video by @twanandreckless. (at Guitar Center)

Ayana Giann Carlos & Rachel Ann Cauilan - Shy That Way (Tristan Prettyman & Jason Mraz Cover)

This is our take on “Shy That Way” by Tristan Prettyman & Jason Mraz.

This is a song we were about to perform some time four years ago at the end of our senior year for a school rock concert. We ended up passing on this for sake of the “mood” of our set.

But, this moody song has been one of my favorites to play over the years, as it’s been one of the first songs I had learned early on in my guitar playing and–who’s to kid–I was a shy kid.

We set a new record with knocking out three covers this day, so you can expect more to come… Very soon! ;)